April 22nd, 2011

Good Friday. wow. I sure know when I was pregnant with Keegan I would never have imagined being at a cancer clinic on his first Easter. I can’t believe we are missing it, but at least he won’t remember that we aren’t there. My mom took the duties of taking his 8 month photo for us with the monkey on the chair he is getting his monthly photos with, so at least something is staying normal 🙂 Sleep last night was much better – the dog that barked all night the previous night was apparently too tired to keep it up all night last night 🙂

Did I mention how greatful I am to have Shawn here with me? Today after breakfast we were sitting in the room getting our books ready to go sit outside and read, and I noticed my hand was itching – a LOT. I looked at it, then my left hand, then my arm I noticed this red, really itchy rash! It was starting to pick up really fast and move up my arm. Then I could feel my cheeks getting the same itchy feeling – I immediately started thinking – was this the new shampoo they gave us? the toothpaste? the lotion (all natural – not supposed to be using it though!) that Shawn’s mom gave me for my birthday? I was starting to get concerned and said to Shawn “I think we should go down and check with the doc, I don’t know what’s going on” he calmy looks at me and said “Marcia, you just took your Niacin” duh! niacin flush! Its only supposed to last for a few minutes, but of course it freaked me out, since I have been taking it since I got here and it just happened today! and of course my calm headed husband was once again here to chill me out 🙂 i love that guy!

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*possible TMI alert* I am not even close to being a champ with these enemas – I can’t even get half of the coffee in before its too uncomfortable for me and I have to stop. The doctors are adding potassium to the liquid now to try and calm down my intestines to make it bearable – if that is even possible! – I think ill just call these enema alerts from now on – so just pass that paragraph if you don’t want to see it 🙂

 We finally got to meet the new couple! they are from Oregon (the state) and he has metastatic thyroid cancer! sound familiar? 🙂 he said his lungs look like they have snow in them 😦 he went through surgery, where they cut out a portion of his trachea as well, and his chin was tied to his chest when he woke up after surgery! I couldn’t imagine.. he went through radioactive iodine, and in that time, the cancer grew twice as fast, hence it looking like snow in the lungs – they just told him he had an agressive form of thyroid cancer. Go figure – wonder what the mass in my lung is! after it didn’t work, he asked what the next step was, they said a medicine that is in trails right now, after questioning it and finding out only 6 people were in the trial, 2 had died, and the 4 left were not doing so hot, he decided to embark on a different journey. So now he joins the group 🙂

I am constantly fascinated by Claude. He is the only other person I know that was actually at peace and happy when he found out he had a cancer diagnosis, because he knew he it would change his life and he would be able to help others. So many people thought I was crazy when I wasn’t scared or crying or depressed when I found out about both of my cancers. I honestly thought hey – if I can help anyone, ill practice what I preach, and prove to people that cancer is NOT a disease meant to kill or harm. It is meant to make you aware there are aspects of your life that need to be changed, and for me, its an awesome realization.

One of the main MAIN things I have come to realize is I care FAR too much what others think, I have my whole life. I do things because I want to make sure others are happy, but then I am very “hard headed” as Shawn loves to say, and my thoughts get in the way a lot. I mean well, and truly want people happy and healthy, and I know Im very abrupt about it sometimes. It’s like the phrase “when you know better, you do better” I know it turns a lot of people off. I honestly think its because they don’t know me as a person. I would do anything for anyone, and I know that im hard to handle at times because of my stance on many aspects, but that just makes me value those who accept me for who I am. I no longer plan on changing myself to suit others. This life isn’t for them. Its for me. Had I done things I wanted, I would still have a thyroid. Im getting over blaming myself since there is nothing that can be done anymore, but it just really made me realize I did the surgery out of OTHER peoples fears, and what others wanted, not me.

*enema alert* so I figured out why they were so bad!! first off, the doctor gave me potassium to help my intestines chill out, and with Shawn’s good research skills, we found out the bucket was way too  high! the pressure exerted when the bucket is too high is awful! I don’t suggest it at all :/ so yeah – all is better in that world now that we got that figured out 🙂 I was telling Claude I couldn’t believe I was actually writing about taking an enema – something that would be ENTIRELY too embarassing before to bring up. But I don’t care. Its an important part of this therapy. The caffeine in the coffee goes to the liver via hemorrhoidal vein and cleanses the blood and liver. Its an extremely important part of the therapy.

We talked a lot today about why we do this therapy, and what it would mean for healthy people to do it. Basically, a cancer patient has a toxic liver from whatever they have eaten, or too much stress, or not managing life experiences well. I understand why I have a toxic liver. What the Gerson Therapy wants is the patient to be able to easily digest their food, hence it being juice. The body can break that down and use it quickly, and the energy can go toward healing the body instead of digesting food. They follow a strict vegan diet, which will for sure be different for me when i get home, since I will be on this therapy for 2 years.

I had my first sugar craving today. I had an organice toffee chocolate bar in my bag that Shawn and I each had 2 pieces on the plane. there were 2 left.  Today I found it in my bag, and told Shawn about it. He made me throw it away and said he better not come back to the room to find me digging in the garbage! lol of course I didn’t, but the craving was still there. Doesn’t help there is an ice cream truck – music included! always driving around – its like they want to taunt us!

We had our first “class” if you will, today. It was on making the coffee for enemas, the tea and desserts! We can only have one dessert per week, but the servings are for 4 people, so if anyone is interested in trying any fantastic vegan desserts, let me know 😉 I know I will have some at the scrapbooking week I go to twice a year! 🙂 We learned how to make cookies, ice cream (freeze bananas and when fully frozen, put through the juicer – its like lemon ice but banana! -or apple or whatever fruit you want!) and a corn/oatmeal cake that is apparently very good, but I didn’t have it when they served it this week, so maybe I will get to try it next week. We get corn once a week, and bananas once a week. Its all becaue of how they break down in the body. After 3 months I get yogurt, and they are working on SUSHI! LOVE IT!! we can have rice, so they are making a vegetable sushi, and you use apple cider vinegar instead of soy sauce. I love sushi, so im willing to try anything! and we can have salmon after a year on therapy. You better believe on April 20th, 2012 I will be have salmon sushimi!!

So – Shawn and I have a history of scaring eachother – we would go around a corner and suprise the other – geeks, yes I know, but i love it – well anyway, today I thought I would be funny and do that to him on the way to lunch, so I quickened my pace and got around the corner since he was right behind me. I saw a shadow coming and jumped out and said “boo!” and almost scared the daylight of another patient from Canada!! Shawn and slowed his pace, and I didn’t even notice because I thought I would be funny and play a trick on him. I felt so horrible, but we were all laughing pretty hard – turns out laughter is really good for healing 🙂

Tomorrow is castor oil day 😦 6:30am will start with my castor oil and coffee, followed by the enema at 11:30. Needless to say, tomorrows post may not be too long depending if I spend the day trying to sleep off the horrible effects of the castor oil. Claude had his today and was out of it until around lunch. He did say that in the entire therapy, we have to do 60 castor oil treatments, and I have done 1, so I only have 59 to go! woohoo!!! 🙂 let the countdown begin!

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