So, this morning got me all sorts of riled up when I was doing my morning enema and scanning over facebook. Normally I am listening to audio, Louise Hay – 101 Power Thoughts, John DeMartini, or my AWESOME coach, Dr. Barbara Eaton. This morning I happened to log onto facebook, and saw a man trying to say the American Cancer Society is “doing all they can to cure cancer, there just simply isn’t a cure” …and my day long rant started.

When will people wise up about this?! I mean really – It’s Relay For Life season all over the country, and I want to vomit every time I see a status on facebook about “I know someone who died from cancer, the only wish I have is for a cure” WAKE UP. THERE IS A CURE. Sheesh!

I took a video, which I don’t have the guts to post, because I don’t like hearing my own voice – on my way to work today. I HAD to get my ideas down to write this blog. I will write (as close) as word for word what I said in my video this morning – but its truly from the bottom of my heart what i feel about all this stuff. So here goes:

Today, people were talking about how there is no cure for cancer, which of course is a total lie, because of course, there is a cure. In the medical community, there is NOT a cure. No amount of poison will EVER cure you – I don’t care how much you try! Then there is the “natural” routes – I think people that go through a natural form of cancer therapy have a much more profound outlook on life – at least for me, that is what I have noticed.

It’s like having your best friend die.  This day marks the one year anniversary of my sorority sister, Trina, passing away from a blood clot. Oddly enough, the same day my sorority sister passed away, my best friend, Michelle, another sorority sister, found herself in the hospital with 3 blood clots in her lungs. BOTH of these girls had the same issue. One made it, one did not. I remember getting Michelle’s text that she was in the hospital. My eyes immediately filled with tears, since I had just learned about Trina’s passing. Michelle was really weak, and couldn’t talk. She was in tremendous amounts of pain. I remember thinking, wow, I got lucky. I get the opportunity to tell her still how much I love her and how much I value my friendship with her. I can’t do that with Trina. I will make a vow to keep in better contact.  We get to choose how we respond to situations. For an instant, a moment, a short amount of time, life is different. You tell people you love them, you spend time with your friends and family, you start to make more plans to get together with friends you haven’t seen in a long time. Life is different. It has meaning. You find what is truly meaningful to you. You’re passionate about what you do. You live life in a different way. You live life like it has meaning. You have purpose.

And then it kinda fades. You know you will always miss them, and you know you will always love them, but life continues to move on. Well, when you are forced to come back from a cancer naturally, and it takes time – 18 to 24 months of strict therapy – that death of a friend is every day. You live every day with that passion, that drive, because you realize – wow, my life COULD have taken a turn for the worst.  Granted, if you have changed your lifestyle and your diet and what not, the chances of you NOT making it are slim to none. It is still a thought in the back of your mind – you KNOW you have choices, but if going the restoration route is the way you want to do it, be prepared for a journey! That journey is worth it’s weight in gold!!

Charlotte Gerson used to say “if you don’t follow this 100%, if you do it 99%, you will not make it. You will fail” Well, I guess im on the path to failure then. I don’t get my juices every hour on the hour.  I do darn good with what I do – I do as close to perfect as I can get, and that is the best I can give. Unless you have all the money in the world to stop you from working, and allow to pay for childcare, or someone to do therapy for you, it isn’t happening. It’s hard. Incredibly hard. I have days that start at 5am and don’t get done till 11pm. Im supposed to be sleeping at LEAST 8 hours a night, plus resting all day. My “rest” consists of my enemas. I LOVE enemas now – its 15 minutes I get to relax. I cherish that time.

You get let down sometimes. Summer sucks. Winter will be a lot easier for me, because there aren’t cookouts all the time. You can’t be out at bonfires. You can’t just go with your friends when they want to hang out – and it’s that “perfect” night. Its in the mid 70’s, really warm – PERFECT night for a cold beer on the porch with your friends, or sitting around a bonfire, or having a beer with your husband after he has worked 6 days and you haven’t gotten to hang out with him at all. You can’t do that anymore. Your life has changed. Now it’s if I want to enjoy a carrot juice or a green juice – but of course I have to be careful as to not wake Keegan up when I juice.  It sucks sometimes, but it is better than the alternate.

Americans view food as comfort. They don’t view it as a means of life. When you view food, and think of everything you put in your mouth as, is this making me stronger or weaker – same as lifestyle choices. Every day you make choices to live or die. Do you take the stairs or the elevator? Do you let stress pass over you, or do you sit and let it steam when someone wrongs you? YOu make choices daily through your choices – do I get stronger or weaker? Sit on the couch when you get home, or go on a walk? It’s redundant because it’s true. Life changes you. Habits are lifelong habits.

When I am off Gerson Therapy, and my screenings have been awesome forever, I want to add back fish. Then again, I might get radiation, We will see. It’s hard to think about all that right now. I know I shouldn’t think about that. Im 10 weeks into an 18 to 24 month therapy. Im a preschooler. Everyone I have talked to that has done therapy is a HUGE motivation to me – they all look great, have a amazing outlook on life – a sense of self, a sense of worth – AWESOME inner peace. It is definitly something I strive for.

I remember when I first told people I was doing this therapy, they treated me like I was going to sit in a corner, stare at crystals and hum, hoping my cancer would go away magically. I can honestly tell you, I have never worked so hard in my entire life as I have with this diagnosis. I have never been so motivated to make a dramatic life change. I have FINALLY realized what it took for me to stay healthy. Weight loss never worked for me in college. I would work out, lose weight, feel and look great, then hit up the frat houses and pizza again. I yo-yo dieted like that for all the time I was at UWP. Most likely one of the causes I ended up with this wonderful cancer in the first place.

Every person has to make an individual choice as to what they want to do with their cancer. Everyone has an option, and everyone needs to exercize that option. Don’t wait until the diagnosis is staring you in the face. Do something now. 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women will be diagnosed with some form of cancer in their lifetime. know your options, and know what is out there for you. I can 100% guarantee you that you can’t decide on treatment right now – It’s one thing to think about now, but its a WHOLE new thing to be sitting in that doctor’s office listening to them tell you the diagnosis, then scare you and use lots of fear mongering to get you to poison yourself back to health. Cuz that makes sense.

So, right now I am watching a guy die. Well, not literally, but kinda. He believes chemo and radiation are the way to go. Totally trusts his MD’s, thinks they are doing the best thing, when in reality, they are doing the ONLY thing they can. How can you expect to get better when your only options are to cut, burn and poison? That is supposed to cure you? to heal you? in what world? on what planet? It boggles my mind to think he isn’t fighting for his life. He has two small children, and is just willing to let everything go, and not try anything new. Part of me just sees it as selfish – your poor children. They are going to grow up without a dad. You have the answers at your finger tips, you have someone WANTING to work with you to help you, but you don’t want it.

One incredibly important thing my coach says is “care, don’t carry” you can only care SO much about someone or something, but ultimately, it’s not up to you, it’s up to them. I care. I care too much, most likely. I want to take this guy by the shoulders, shake him and tell him I have another friend, who just marked the two month anniversary of her husbands death from chemo and radiation. Notice I didn’t say he died of cancer. Because he didn’t. The cancer didn’t kill him. the drugs did. His wife and he tried everything they could to get him started on an alternate therapy once conventional medicine failed them. He was sent with hospice, and she started asking questions. They were doing all they could to get him on the right track, but he was too full of posion. It was too late. I don’t want it to be too late for others. I want people to know this stuff BEFORE it happens, since it seems like in our world, it will happen to at least each couple. Right now, 1 in 2 men and 1 in 3 women are diagnosed with cancer at some point in their lives. What will YOU do when that happens?

I have noticed something awesome lately. I have chosen to surround myself with people that all seem to be dedicated to the same thing. Continal learning. We are all here taking chances, with whatever we do really – every choice we make is a chance, we just hope its for a good chance! I no longer associate myself with people who aren’t on the same path, who want to learn. Part of me keeps posting things online, HOPING for a response, but most times I don’t get them.

Then out of the blue, I get an email. There are people that never say a word to me. Never comment on a post, never say anything to me, but they watch what I post. And I get an email about it, saying I am a huge motivation, and have really helped someone. WOW. I know I am on the right track. If I could change ONE persons quality of life by doing what I am doing, that’s all I want. I know I will change more, but as long as I can be a positive light in this world, my life is worth living.

This post is kind of all over the place – and today has been a crazy mix of emotion. Im hurting because I have a friend who is missing her husband daily, and I want to change another man’s life, so his wife doesn’ thave to feel the same pain, yet there is nothing I can do. This is the last it will come up, I am choosing to “care, not carry” and help those that I can. Help those that WANT the help, and are willing to make the life changes to live the most abundant, awesome life they could imagine.

Cancer isn’t a death sentance. It’s a life changing opportunity. Make the best of it!

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